This is something I came across by Phillip Wagner... It's awesome.
...Can I let you in on a little secret? Do you want to know a great secret to a strong marriage?
I married out of my league! I married ‘over my head.’ To use a sports analogy – I was a college player who married a pro. What’s funny is – I didn’t even realize it at the time.
When I was in High School and was interested in certain girls, my friends might tell me –“Hey bro – don’t try to ask that girl out – she’s out of your league!!” They were probably right. Some times, just teasing, like most friends do.
You’ve probably seen somebody you know dating someone that causes you to think – “How did they get that person?”
As it turns out – my wife is smarter than I am, she’s quicker, more perceptive, she has better instincts, better social skills, more charismatic… ok that’s enough, (…the longer this list gets – the more discouraging it could be) but you get the point.
“Marry over your head.” In a way I’m kidding when I say this.
You do have to marry someone that is on a similar level as you are – in intelligence, communication ability, life experience, spirituality, or personal values etc. If you do not – the challenges that everyone faces when working through typical differences will be multiplied because of these important areas that determine ‘what league you are in.’
The point I really want to make is – marry someone or invest time in dating someone you perceive as ‘a great person.’ I don’t believe that I’m a lousy person and that I don’t deserve someone like my wife – I just think she’s awesome.
A BIG mistake that many people make is that they compromise in whom they pursue because:
o They don’t feel like they deserve better
o On an emotional level, they are just happy to be with anyone who is interested in them, or
o They don’t value themselves enough.
It’s called - settling for second best. A good marriage requires two people who have great and compatible qualities.
A single person might say, “We’ve been together so long, I don’t want to break up now, I’ll be wasting all that time and effort.”
My encouragement to you is, if you don’t look at that person and think, “I’m so happy to be dating someone like them, because I have so much respect for them. Their positive qualities far outweigh their weaknesses.” Then I suggest you move on. It’s better to waste some of the time you have spent than to knowingly jeopardize your future.
Struggles in marriage are so much easier to navigate through when you’ve married someone with great qualities.
